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I Confess, I've Been Amiss... ...But here are t...
My God, I Confess
In Your Face
Stepping in Mud prob-lem Function: noun Etym...
Grab your kids and leash your cats, its this blo...
Cheating the Reaper, Again
Playing the Score, Tasting the Music
Kissing the Dive Bomber plummet Function: intr...
OK, stop the presses, grab the firetruck, its ti...
Running the Film Backwards

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Life, viewed sideways. Emotions, amplified. Answers, questioned. Me, between the lines.

- A Wounded Heart, Who Can Bear?
- Drowning Under a Tidal Wave
- Clawing My Way to the Sunlight
- Yes, Santa Claus, There Is a Virginia
- Fugu
- Touching the Spirit
- A Hole in the Universe
- Riding on the Dreams of Others
- Turning Into a Shark
 - A Heart, Ripped Asunder
- Surrendering to the Roller Coaster
- Hunting in the Jade Forest
- Dodging the Shark
- Dancing With Invisible Partners
- The Captain and the Harliquin
- Courting the Devils
- The Captain Makes His Mark
- Mad Dog to the Rescue
- Innocent in the Big City
- Dropping the Ball Briefcase
- Scrambling Brains
- Cheating the Reaper, Again
- What If the Man Behind the Curtain Is No Wizard After All?
- All of Us Have a Soundtrack
- Working With Broken Machines
- Happy Anniversary, Baby
- Standing on Stars
- Running the Film Backwards
- Identity Crisis ("Who am I?")
- Can We Ever Really Admit the Desires of Our Heart?
- Forgiveness is a Rare Thing
- Having Your Heart Caressed By the Creator
- Working With Broken Machines
- A New Leg to Stand On
- The Real Spirit of Christmas
- Chatting With Infinity
- Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder
- We All Have a Great Capacity for Loss
- Brushed Lightly By Might Have Beens
- We See the World Through Our Own Looking Glass
- Every Storm Passes Eventually
- Accidents Can Introduce Destiny Into Our Lives
- Freedom Depends on the Walls Around Us
- Pulling Aside the Velvet Curtain
- Riding the Razor's Edge
- Dying With Strangers
- In Your Face
- Between the Lines
- The Bobcat
- Angel With a Coffeecup
- Innocent in the Big City
- Chains of Gossamer
- Playing With Knives
- Stumbling Through Memories (Ooops)
- Picture This
- Running the Film Backwards
- Playing the Score, Tasting the Music
- Coins and Corals and Carved Coconuts
- My God, I Confess
- Exotic in Thin Air (Part 1, Speechless)
- Exotic in Thin Air (Part 2, Taxi)
- Exotic in Thin Air (Part 3, The Pan American)
- Exotic in Thin Air (Part 4, Guano)
- Exotic in Thin Air (Part 5, The Andes Express)

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"From this hour I ordain myself loos'd of limits and imaginary lines, going where I list, my own master total and absolute, Listening to others, considering well what they say, Pausing, searching, receiving, contemplating, Gently, but with undeniable will, divesting myself of the holds that would hold me."

Walt Whitman (1819-92)

"When I look back now over my life and call to mind what I might have had simply for taking and did not take, my heart is like to break."

Akhenaton (d. c.1354 BC)

And now, the current weather, from some random person we pulled off the street:

The WeatherPixie

Tuesday, March 16, 2004

OK...I have posted this entry once and it somehow got replaced by a draft version. If you read the earlier version, my apologies.

This week's Blogger Idol topic is "Dear Celebrity." My entry follows; its a bit risky and a bit creepy, but hey, what's life without risk :) This entry includes the letter, the news article, and the song lyric at the end. I'll follow this with a more light hearted entry shortly.

Eternal Nightcap

Function: adjective
Etymology: Middle English, from Latin irrevocabilis, from in- + revocabilis revocable
1 : not possible to revoke : UNALTERABLE [an irrevocable decision]
2 : suicide

(Note: This letter is addressed to Steve Plunder, the late guitarist of the Australian rock group "The Whitlams." I am writing this letter from the viewpoint of Andy Lewis, a former member of the band. The details I could find about this event were sketchy at best, so I have taken considerable artistic license. However, the event described here did in fact occur.)

February 12, 2000

Dear Steve,

You know, we never really got over it.

It seems like only yesterday, but it was four years ago in 1996 when you killed yourself. I can still remember just sitting with you on a summer's day in December, idly playing on my bass and the piano as you filled the twilight air with the sounds of your guitar, playing your deep, deep melodies that always spoke to everyone so well.

It was a shame, Steve, that you could not speak as well yourself. We might have helped, you know. You always played from the heart, and yet we never really saw inside deep enough, did we?

Sometimes, you would go through staggering amounts of beer and liquor, chain smoking like a smokestack hooked to a wildfire. Now I know that you did that because it just hurt so badly, you were doing anything you could to numb it.

Did you know I left the band not long after you left a big hole in the world? Yeah, I did. I got together with the Moriarty brothers, Phil and Mick, and we started playing gigs as "The Gadflies." We even got picked up as the house band on a TV show!

But, you know mate, every dream awakens one day. I'm awake now, and this world is really a dark place. So dark it hurts.

My finances, well, they have never been worse. Sometimes, I feel like there is no f****** hope.

Like now.

My life's kinda hit the s***'s too.

The wife, the kids, its all a mess, Steve.

After you did it, we all asked "why?" We couldn't understand. They said it was because you were trying to stop drinking and smoking all at once. But now I know that wasn't it, that wasn't it at all.

Now I know, I know why.

I got a gun, Steve.

Its so dark here. So dark.

See you soon.

February 14, 2000

Andy Lewis

Andy Lewis, of the Gadflys and formerly of The Whitlams, committed suicide on Saturday amidst personal and financial problems. This occurred as the Gadflys were due to finish their 5th album. He is survived by his wife and three children.


He'll need some time to get over this
But a moment is all he can spare
His buddies out there in the city lights
And he is trying to care

See him offering himself to the world
Staring down from the fifty-sixth floor
I'll be happy just to catch him again
We go out we don't always come back

The night pressing in on his weary mind
There's a half-eaten moon in the sky
Nothing is calling him back to bed
And no-one is saying goodbye

See him offering himself to the world
Staring down from the fifty-sixth floor
Yeah I'll be happy just to catch him again
We go out because we go back
And back and back

Words & Music: Tim Freedman, Greta Gertler, from Eternal Nightcap, The Whitlams

Permalink: 3/16/2004 12:08:00 PM |
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