"From this hour I ordain myself loos'd of limits and imaginary lines, going where I list, my own master total and absolute, Listening to others, considering well what they say, Pausing, searching, receiving, contemplating, Gently, but with undeniable will, divesting myself of the holds that would hold me."
Walt Whitman (1819-92)
"When I look back now over my life and call to mind what I might have had simply for taking and did not take, my heart is like to break."
Akhenaton (d. c.1354 BC)
And now, the current weather, from some random person we pulled off the street:
Saturday, December 25, 2004
More Funny Signs
Sign in a Laundromat:
Automatic washing machines: please remove all your clothes when the light goes out.
Sign in a London department store:
Bargain basement upstairs.
In an office:
Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday please bring it back or further steps will be taken.
Outside a farm:
Horse manure 50p per pre-packed bag 20p do-it-yourself.
In an office:
After tea break staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board.
On a church door:
This is the gate of heaven. enter ye all by this door. (This door is kept locked because of the draft. please use side door.)
English sign in a German cafe:
Mothers, please wash your hans before eating.
Outside a secondhand shop:
We exchange anything - bicycles, washing machines etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain?
Sign outside a new town hall which was to be opened by the Prince of Wales:
The town hall is closed until opening. it will remain closed after being opened. Open tomorrow.
Outside a photographer's studio:
Out to lunch. If not back by five, out for dinner also.
Seen at the side of a Sussex road:
Slow cattle crossing. No overtaking for the next 100 yrs.
Outside a disco:
Smarts is the most exclusive disco in town. Everyone welcome.
Sign warning of quicksand:
Quicksand. Any person passing this point will be drowned. By order of the district council.
Notice sent to residents of a Whiltshire parish:
Due to increasing problems with letter louts and vandals we must ask anyone with relatives buried in the graveyard to do their best to keep them in order.
Notice in a dry cleaner's window:
Anyone leaving their garments here for more than 30 days will be disposed of.
Sign on motorway garage:
Please do not smoke near our petrol pumps. Your life may not be worth much but our petrol is.
Notice in health food shop window:
Closed due to illness.
Spotted in a safari park:
Elephants please stay in your car.
Notice in a field:
The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges.
Message on a leaflet:
If you cannot read, this leaflet will tell you how to get lessons.
Sign on a repair shop door:
We can repair anything. (Please knock hard on the door - the bell doesn't work.)
Spotted in a toilet in a London office block:
Toilet out of order. Please use floor below.