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Walking on the Poseidon dis·tort Function: v...
Touching the Spirit
Clawing My Way to the Sunlight
Drowning Under a Tidal Wave
A Wounded Heart, Who Can Bear?
Stranger in my Shoes de?·cep?·tion Function: n...
Working with Broken Machines
Riding the Earthquake per·se·vere Function:...
The Winds Come mon·ster Function: noun Etym...

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Life, viewed sideways. Emotions, amplified. Answers, questioned. Me, between the lines.

- A Wounded Heart, Who Can Bear?
- Drowning Under a Tidal Wave
- Clawing My Way to the Sunlight
- Yes, Santa Claus, There Is a Virginia
- Fugu
- Touching the Spirit
- A Hole in the Universe
- Riding on the Dreams of Others
- Turning Into a Shark
 - A Heart, Ripped Asunder
- Surrendering to the Roller Coaster
- Hunting in the Jade Forest
- Dodging the Shark
- Dancing With Invisible Partners
- The Captain and the Harliquin
- Courting the Devils
- The Captain Makes His Mark
- Mad Dog to the Rescue
- Innocent in the Big City
- Dropping the Ball Briefcase
- Scrambling Brains
- Cheating the Reaper, Again
- What If the Man Behind the Curtain Is No Wizard After All?
- All of Us Have a Soundtrack
- Working With Broken Machines
- Happy Anniversary, Baby
- Standing on Stars
- Running the Film Backwards
- Identity Crisis ("Who am I?")
- Can We Ever Really Admit the Desires of Our Heart?
- Forgiveness is a Rare Thing
- Having Your Heart Caressed By the Creator
- Working With Broken Machines
- A New Leg to Stand On
- The Real Spirit of Christmas
- Chatting With Infinity
- Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder
- We All Have a Great Capacity for Loss
- Brushed Lightly By Might Have Beens
- We See the World Through Our Own Looking Glass
- Every Storm Passes Eventually
- Accidents Can Introduce Destiny Into Our Lives
- Freedom Depends on the Walls Around Us
- Pulling Aside the Velvet Curtain
- Riding the Razor's Edge
- Dying With Strangers
- In Your Face
- Between the Lines
- The Bobcat
- Angel With a Coffeecup
- Innocent in the Big City
- Chains of Gossamer
- Playing With Knives
- Stumbling Through Memories (Ooops)
- Picture This
- Running the Film Backwards
- Playing the Score, Tasting the Music
- Coins and Corals and Carved Coconuts
- My God, I Confess
- Exotic in Thin Air (Part 1, Speechless)
- Exotic in Thin Air (Part 2, Taxi)
- Exotic in Thin Air (Part 3, The Pan American)
- Exotic in Thin Air (Part 4, Guano)
- Exotic in Thin Air (Part 5, The Andes Express)

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"From this hour I ordain myself loos'd of limits and imaginary lines, going where I list, my own master total and absolute, Listening to others, considering well what they say, Pausing, searching, receiving, contemplating, Gently, but with undeniable will, divesting myself of the holds that would hold me."

Walt Whitman (1819-92)

"When I look back now over my life and call to mind what I might have had simply for taking and did not take, my heart is like to break."

Akhenaton (d. c.1354 BC)

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Tuesday, December 09, 2003

Yes, Santa Claus, there IS a Virginia

Function: transitive verb
Etymology: Middle English abandounen, from Middle French abandoner, from abandon, n., surrender, from a bandon in one's power
Date: 14th century
1 a : to give up to the control or influence of another person or agent b : to give up with the intent of never again claiming a right or interest in
2 : to give (oneself) over unrestrainedly
3 : the wild feeling that I sometimes had when life took a joyous turn.

Wild abandon and Virginia Miller.

Those are two things that seem to go together in my mind. I am sure she would be pleased with that.

I guess I was about 13 or so when I met her. She had this wonderful sandy brown almost blond hair, and a look in her eyes that would thrill a guy to the bones. There was just something about those eyes that I have seen in only a few people, something exciting, something wild, something untamed that was always ready to grab you and drag you along to who knows where, and wherever that was it would be trouble.

But it would be that really fun kind of trouble.

I remember one summer afternoon when I gave her a ride on the back of my bicycle. Having a girls body pressed against me was a new experience for me, and she was flirting for all she was worth. Amazing, that thirty some years later that afternoon is still emblazoned in my mind.

I took to riding by her house on a regular basis, but she never took another ride on my bike, she was never outside when I passed.

It was a typical schoolboy crush, and it had hit me like a bus.

But then there was another girl too, an OLDER woman (by one year, but that makes a huge difference at that age), who I was quite taken with. Her name was Cindy and she lived behind us, and she was beautiful in a different way than Virginia. Where Virginia seemed all tussle and toss, Cindy was reserved and classy, bordering on cold even. She was the type that could win beauty contests, and sometimes did.

I think I gave Cindy a Valentines card a couple of times. Wow, I remember how humiliating that was for me. It took me a while to get my reality in line with what was happening around me, and I tilted at windmills for years, doing things like that. It was not that I was shooting too high, I think that I could have pulled it off, but rather that I was curiously choosing the most unattainable goals I could find to try to achieve.

Ah, the optimism of youth. I hope I never lose it.

I used to see Virginia occasionally when I started driving. I think she worked in a gas station where I would get gas, or maybe she just got gas there too. I just seem to remember her standing at the pump.

She ended up going to the same high school as I did. We were both in the French Club and went on a trip to France when I was a senior and she was a junior. I worked it out so I could sit next to her on the flight. I was thinking, "Yeah!"

She was thinking something quite different, of course. Poor thing, I am sure I terrorized her on that trip. But by that time, other things had happened in my life, which I have yet to cover here, so I guess I can be excused for feeling a bit vain about myself.

I have no idea where Virginia ended up. I so hope it's with a lovely family and a husband that keeps the sparks in that wild streak like she so deserved. Anything else would be a real injustice.

Speaking of justice, Cindy, I believe, ended up as a lawyer.

I can't say I am surprised. Bet she's a good one too.

Young people are in a condition like permanent intoxication, because youth is sweet and they are growing.
Aristotle (384 BC - 322 BC), 'Nicomachean Ethics'

Permalink: 12/09/2003 03:06:00 PM |
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