Did this page end up framed? Click here to break out.

Beth the Second - Black Magic
Bouncing Betty and April May
Beth the Second - Magic
Innocence Lost
Quick Programming Note
A Flaming Mountain Thrown Into the Sea
Men are from Mars and...
More Funny Signs

Click to go to the most current Cliff Between the Lines
Life, viewed sideways. Emotions, amplified. Answers, questioned. Me, between the lines.

- A Wounded Heart, Who Can Bear?
- Drowning Under a Tidal Wave
- Clawing My Way to the Sunlight
- Yes, Santa Claus, There Is a Virginia
- Fugu
- Touching the Spirit
- A Hole in the Universe
- Riding on the Dreams of Others
- Turning Into a Shark
 - A Heart, Ripped Asunder
- Surrendering to the Roller Coaster
- Hunting in the Jade Forest
- Dodging the Shark
- Dancing With Invisible Partners
- The Captain and the Harliquin
- Courting the Devils
- The Captain Makes His Mark
- Mad Dog to the Rescue
- Innocent in the Big City
- Dropping the Ball Briefcase
- Scrambling Brains
- Cheating the Reaper, Again
- What If the Man Behind the Curtain Is No Wizard After All?
- All of Us Have a Soundtrack
- Working With Broken Machines
- Happy Anniversary, Baby
- Standing on Stars
- Running the Film Backwards
- Identity Crisis ("Who am I?")
- Can We Ever Really Admit the Desires of Our Heart?
- Forgiveness is a Rare Thing
- Having Your Heart Caressed By the Creator
- Working With Broken Machines
- A New Leg to Stand On
- The Real Spirit of Christmas
- Chatting With Infinity
- Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder
- We All Have a Great Capacity for Loss
- Brushed Lightly By Might Have Beens
- We See the World Through Our Own Looking Glass
- Every Storm Passes Eventually
- Accidents Can Introduce Destiny Into Our Lives
- Freedom Depends on the Walls Around Us
- Pulling Aside the Velvet Curtain
- Riding the Razor's Edge
- Dying With Strangers
- In Your Face
- Between the Lines
- The Bobcat
- Angel With a Coffeecup
- Innocent in the Big City
- Chains of Gossamer
- Playing With Knives
- Stumbling Through Memories (Ooops)
- Picture This
- Running the Film Backwards
- Playing the Score, Tasting the Music
- Coins and Corals and Carved Coconuts
- My God, I Confess
- Exotic in Thin Air (Part 1, Speechless)
- Exotic in Thin Air (Part 2, Taxi)
- Exotic in Thin Air (Part 3, The Pan American)
- Exotic in Thin Air (Part 4, Guano)
- Exotic in Thin Air (Part 5, The Andes Express)

Blogroll Me!

Feed for RSS readers:
ATOM Site Feed

Enter your email address below to be notified daily in your email whenever this blog is updated, courtesy of Bloglet:

powered by Bloglet

"This is True" is now located at the bottom of this page.

My Blogger Profile

More About Cliff Hursey

Email me

"From this hour I ordain myself loos'd of limits and imaginary lines, going where I list, my own master total and absolute, Listening to others, considering well what they say, Pausing, searching, receiving, contemplating, Gently, but with undeniable will, divesting myself of the holds that would hold me."

Walt Whitman (1819-92)

"When I look back now over my life and call to mind what I might have had simply for taking and did not take, my heart is like to break."

Akhenaton (d. c.1354 BC)

And now, the current weather, from some random person we pulled off the street:

The WeatherPixie

Friday, January 21, 2005


Function: noun
Etymology: Late Latin impostor, from Latin imponere
1 : one that assumes false identity or title for the purpose of deception
2 : something that really ticks me off...unless I want to be one.

"WooHoo!!! Yeah, we're British! WooHoo!" he yelled madly at the top of his lungs, wildly waving a confederate flag because to him, it looked vaguely like a Union Jack.

We were cruising down the boulevard in Myrtle Beach in 1979 just days after my accident, this time using the Jeep CJ-5 that my dad was letting me use until they "fixed" my Spitfire. I had two guys with me. One was British, and the other was incredibly grotesquely fat.

And I have no idea now how I knew them, where they came from, or anything. But they were there. And the British one was having way too much fun.

"WooHoo! We're British!!!" And the fat one just sat in the back, making the Jeep lean and filling the entire two seater back seat from armrest to armrest.

I hoped no one I knew would see me.

One of the first things I had done when I got back was to buy a cane, since my knees were giving me such trouble. But I didn't buy just any cane. No, not for me. I bought a sword cane.

Those things are pretty cool, and along the way I've owned two of them. This first one had a hidden button on it that, when pushed, would drop the majority of the cane (which functioned in reality as a scabbard) and reveal a wicked looking shiney 20" blade.

The second night I had it, I went to get the Jeep after work, and as I came to the first red light, some idiot started climbing into the back window. I turned and pulled the blade.

"Whoa, it's cool man," he said, throwing up his arms and jumping out.

"Shoot, the thing works," I said to myself.

So here I was, cruising the boulevard with a Jeep, a crazy Englishman, a sword cane, and a really, really fat guy making sure I had good traction.

All of this didn't matter, of course, because as usual traffic was at a complete standstill. That's why we liked cruising the boulevard, it was a great place to meet girls, and for them to meet us. Or at least it usually seemed like it was.

My British friend finally got tired of yelling and stuck the flag in the back of the Jeep so it could flap in the breeze. Several cars ahead of us was a convertible full of girls who seemed to be getting some trouble from some guys.

"You girls know it's illegal to drink in public in Myrtle Beach," one of the guys said. "I'm going to have to fine you for that, maybe take you in."

The girls were apologetic, but the guys would have none of it. They were really harrassing the poor girls.

"You know something?" I said to English. "I know every policeman in Myrtle Beach, and those guys aren't policemen."

"Really? You mean they're impersonating policemen?"

"Yeah. You wanna have a bit of fun?"


I pulled over into a parking lot, getting the Jeep out of the flow of traffic, in the event it actually did flow at some point. We all got out and walked over to the girl's car.

"Excuse me," I said, "but we're from Myrtle Beach Police Department Undercover Unit and I don't know you." I flashed my college ID really quickly.

"Oh, uh, we're new. We just came on the force today." He was visibly shaken.

"I don't believe you. Where is your patrol car?"

"It's that van over there."

"Why does it have Tennessee tags?"

"Uh, we haven't gotten them changed yet."

The three of us looked at the three of them for a minute. English and Fatguy hadn't said a word. "I'm going to have to call this in. I'll give you five minutes to get out of here first." Not being able to resist, I opened and closed my sword cane for emphasis.

They took off like the devil was after them, and we got back into our Jeep with a wink at the girls in the convertible, and pull back into the line of traffic.

About a minute later, the cute girl that was driving the convertible jumps out, comes running back, and plants a huge kiss on me, then runs back to her car, eyes sparkling the whole way.


We motioned for them to pull over at the pier in front of us, and so did we. Long story short, we ended up walking on the beach in short order. There were three of them, three of us, it worked.

English, Fatguy and the two other girls headed down the beach. The cute girl's name was Sharon, I think, and we sat under the pier on the sand, talking.

Things were just about to start getting interesting, when Sharon looked me right in the eyes, deeply, and said...

"Excuse me a second."

She then leaned over to the other side and threw up on the sand. And not just a little ladylike rolf, it was one of those huge gushing regurgitations that you get from way too much beer trying to leave all at once from the closest orifice. She wiped her mouth on her sleeve and turned back towards me, ready to pick up where we had left off.

"Let's go find your friends..." I said.

Women! Can't live with them...pass the beer nuts.
--Norm (Cheers)

Permalink: 1/21/2005 11:52:00 PM |
EMail this post to a friend:

Creative Commons License\__Cliff Between the Lines__/ is licensed
under a Creative Commons License.

Visit The Weblog Review

All Definitions featured in this blog are modified from the Webster Dictionary website.

Many quotations in this blog come from the Quotations Page.

This page is powered by Blogger. Weblog Commenting by HaloScan.com Blogarama - The Blog Directory

WWW \__Cliff Between the Lines__/