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Life, viewed sideways. Emotions, amplified. Answers, questioned. Me, between the lines.

- A Wounded Heart, Who Can Bear?
- Drowning Under a Tidal Wave
- Clawing My Way to the Sunlight
- Yes, Santa Claus, There Is a Virginia
- Fugu
- Touching the Spirit
- A Hole in the Universe
- Riding on the Dreams of Others
- Turning Into a Shark
 - A Heart, Ripped Asunder
- Surrendering to the Roller Coaster
- Hunting in the Jade Forest
- Dodging the Shark
- Dancing With Invisible Partners
- The Captain and the Harliquin
- Courting the Devils
- The Captain Makes His Mark
- Mad Dog to the Rescue
- Innocent in the Big City
- Dropping the Ball Briefcase
- Scrambling Brains
- Cheating the Reaper, Again
- What If the Man Behind the Curtain Is No Wizard After All?
- All of Us Have a Soundtrack
- Working With Broken Machines
- Happy Anniversary, Baby
- Standing on Stars
- Running the Film Backwards
- Identity Crisis ("Who am I?")
- Can We Ever Really Admit the Desires of Our Heart?
- Forgiveness is a Rare Thing
- Having Your Heart Caressed By the Creator
- Working With Broken Machines
- A New Leg to Stand On
- The Real Spirit of Christmas
- Chatting With Infinity
- Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder
- We All Have a Great Capacity for Loss
- Brushed Lightly By Might Have Beens
- We See the World Through Our Own Looking Glass
- Every Storm Passes Eventually
- Accidents Can Introduce Destiny Into Our Lives
- Freedom Depends on the Walls Around Us
- Pulling Aside the Velvet Curtain
- Riding the Razor's Edge
- Dying With Strangers
- In Your Face
- Between the Lines
- The Bobcat
- Angel With a Coffeecup
- Innocent in the Big City
- Chains of Gossamer
- Playing With Knives
- Stumbling Through Memories (Ooops)
- Picture This
- Running the Film Backwards
- Playing the Score, Tasting the Music
- Coins and Corals and Carved Coconuts
- My God, I Confess
- Exotic in Thin Air (Part 1, Speechless)
- Exotic in Thin Air (Part 2, Taxi)
- Exotic in Thin Air (Part 3, The Pan American)
- Exotic in Thin Air (Part 4, Guano)
- Exotic in Thin Air (Part 5, The Andes Express)

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More About Cliff Hursey

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"From this hour I ordain myself loos'd of limits and imaginary lines, going where I list, my own master total and absolute, Listening to others, considering well what they say, Pausing, searching, receiving, contemplating, Gently, but with undeniable will, divesting myself of the holds that would hold me."

Walt Whitman (1819-92)

"When I look back now over my life and call to mind what I might have had simply for taking and did not take, my heart is like to break."

Akhenaton (d. c.1354 BC)

And now, the current weather, from some random person we pulled off the street:

The WeatherPixie

Friday, September 23, 2005

Broken Heart

Function: noun
1 : the quality or state of being mortal
2 : the wolf that I'm staring down, right now.

Some of you have been wondering where I've been. Well, I've been chasing a rabbit, trying to find out what this dang pain in my chest was, or at least how to treat it. We decided it was gastric, then the GI doc couldn't fix it. I kept chasing. The rabbit hole turned out to be a wolf den.

My cousin called me two weeks ago. This cousin is a world traveling vascular surgeon, and studied under Christian Bernard. "Cliff," he said, "You need to go see a cardiologist, just to make sure, since you're family history is so bad and you have already had a stent seven years ago."

My family history is bad, since my father had a heart attack and my mother had a transplant. He had a point there.

The next day I saw my endochrinologist (in real English, my diabetes doc.) "Cliff," she said, "You need to go see a cardiologist."

Enough is enough. I knew the problem wasn't my heart, but better safe than sorry. So day before yesterday I had a stress test.

And I really, really should have studied harder.

I found out the score in an early morning call yesterday. "Mr. Hursey, that pain isn't indigestion. It's your heart."

My heart. My great big heart that is so filled with love for so many people, that wants so badly to shine with Christ's image. 70% blockage on the left side, at least, maybe more.

So, Monday I'll go in for a cardiac cath and I'm sure (I hope) an angioplasty and a stent. Or two. Or more.

In the midst of this we have sold our house and are closing on the new one on Friday. I won't be packing any further, I'll have to leave that to my wife. As far as unpacking, I've had a good handful of friends insist on helping. God bless 'em every one.

If it's in the plan, I'll be posting again within the next two weeks. If I become permanently unavailable, I'll leave instructions so a friend can make an entry here.

I hate unfinished business.

However, my hope is to return quickly. I've yet to tell all my stories, I have whole lots left to say, and I want to tell 'em all and say it all before we put the period at the end.

I may not post again until all this is over, but I will try to read the messages.

Thanks for listening.


We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give.
--Sir Winston Churchill

Permalink: 9/23/2005 11:53:00 PM |
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