"From this hour I ordain myself loos'd of limits and imaginary lines, going where I list, my own master total and absolute, Listening to others, considering well what they say, Pausing, searching, receiving, contemplating, Gently, but with undeniable will, divesting myself of the holds that would hold me."
Walt Whitman (1819-92)
"When I look back now over my life and call to mind what I might have had simply for taking and did not take, my heart is like to break."
Akhenaton (d. c.1354 BC)
And now, the current weather, from some random person we pulled off the street:
Friday, December 26, 2003
al-lure Function: transitive verb
Etymology: Middle English aluren, from Middle French alurer, from Old French, from a- (from Latin ad-) + loire lure -- more at LURE
Date: 15th century
1 : to entice by charm or attraction
2 : a quality I have always admired
Today was Christmas.
Today the pile of presents under the tree was whittled down to almost nothing. I say almost because my daughter is out of town and hers remain unopened. But she'll be here Sunday and get her stuff too.
Anyways, this Christmas was a good one, all in all. No rollercoasters, no major problems, no unexplained depressions, no bursts of unreal activity. Just cool, calm, relaxing. And that was nice.
One of my presents was the latest album by Cory Sipper, Sincerely. You can get the album at CDBaby. I can't recommend this album highly enough.
Cory's writing seems to delve into the same dark rooms that I have visited at times, and her experience seems to mirror my own in many of the moments she records so openly. When her voice sings it just sends shivers up your spine.
Don't worry I won't ice myself
Don't worry I can fight myself
Don't worry I won't ice myself
My hands are steady to the wheel my love
- from "Ice", Cory Sipper, Sincerely
One of the songs on the album ends with a quote from Winston Churchill: "When you are going through hell, keep going." Good sentiments, good to remember.
Another song is called "Mermaid." She sings about once being a mermaid, at least in her mind. Of course, being a guy, my own experience with mermaids is quite different.
When I was very young, maybe 14 or so, we first began regularly going to Myrtle Beach. I would walk down to the seaside in the evening, just after dark, and sit and look at the waves.
The sea foam would sweep back and forth, effervescent and glimmering in the moonlight. Each wave would swoosh in gracefully and leave out with a gentle hiss to make room for the next. The sea breeze would gently caress my cheek and playfully toss my hair about.
It was easy to imagine magical things in such a place.
I would gaze intently on the waves, dreaming the impossibility of a real mermaid. I imagined that such a creature, as in the stories, would instantly fall in love with me as soon as she saw me. At that point on my life, I so desparately wanted love, and had no idea how nor hope of getting it.
Mythical creatures seemed about as likely to me as real flesh and blood ones to fill that need, and their failure to appear was a far easier blow to deal with than real life rejection. So I sat and dreamt of mermaids sweeping in on the waves.
Maybe I am not OK
Maybe I can feel a cold front moving in
Maybe you could be a saint
And lay down right now
Next to me right now....
- from "Maybe", Cory Sipper, Sincerely
Now I'm many years down the road from gazing at mermaids. I'm a grown man who has raised children himself and watched them dream their own dreams and chase them. My workaday world holds little in the way of moments to sit and enjoy the waves rolling in after dark.
But, you know, every so often, I still find myself gazing into space and dreaming of mermaids. One day, I'll find one. And in many ways, I already have.
Merry Christmas, and may all your hopes and dreams come true.
Everything you can imagine is real.
Pablo Picasso (1881 - 1973)