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A Nervous Boil dis-qui-et Function: transitiv...
The Real Spirit of Christmas
A Heart Ripped Asunder
The Captain Makes His Mark
Courting the Devils
The Captain and the Harliquin
Dancing with Invisible Partners
Hunting in the Jade Forest
Surrendering to the Roller Coaster
My Heart Impaled

Click to go to the most current Cliff Between the Lines
Life, viewed sideways. Emotions, amplified. Answers, questioned. Me, between the lines.




- A Wounded Heart, Who Can Bear?
- Drowning Under a Tidal Wave
- Clawing My Way to the Sunlight
- Yes, Santa Claus, There Is a Virginia
- Fugu
- Touching the Spirit
- A Hole in the Universe
- Riding on the Dreams of Others
- Turning Into a Shark
 - A Heart, Ripped Asunder
- Surrendering to the Roller Coaster
- Hunting in the Jade Forest
- Dodging the Shark
- Dancing With Invisible Partners
- The Captain and the Harliquin
- Courting the Devils
- The Captain Makes His Mark
- Mad Dog to the Rescue
- Innocent in the Big City
- Dropping the Ball Briefcase
- Scrambling Brains
- Cheating the Reaper, Again
- What If the Man Behind the Curtain Is No Wizard After All?
- All of Us Have a Soundtrack
- Working With Broken Machines
- Happy Anniversary, Baby
- Standing on Stars
- Running the Film Backwards
- Identity Crisis ("Who am I?")
- Can We Ever Really Admit the Desires of Our Heart?
- Forgiveness is a Rare Thing
- Having Your Heart Caressed By the Creator
- Working With Broken Machines
- A New Leg to Stand On
- The Real Spirit of Christmas
- Chatting With Infinity
- Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder
- We All Have a Great Capacity for Loss
- Brushed Lightly By Might Have Beens
- We See the World Through Our Own Looking Glass
- Every Storm Passes Eventually
- Accidents Can Introduce Destiny Into Our Lives
- Freedom Depends on the Walls Around Us
- Pulling Aside the Velvet Curtain
- Riding the Razor's Edge
- Dying With Strangers
- In Your Face
- Between the Lines
- The Bobcat
- Angel With a Coffeecup
- Innocent in the Big City
- Chains of Gossamer
- Playing With Knives
- Stumbling Through Memories (Ooops)
- Picture This
- Running the Film Backwards
- Playing the Score, Tasting the Music
- Coins and Corals and Carved Coconuts
- My God, I Confess
- Exotic in Thin Air (Part 1, Speechless)
- Exotic in Thin Air (Part 2, Taxi)
- Exotic in Thin Air (Part 3, The Pan American)
- Exotic in Thin Air (Part 4, Guano)
- Exotic in Thin Air (Part 5, The Andes Express)



 
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"From this hour I ordain myself loos'd of limits and imaginary lines, going where I list, my own master total and absolute, Listening to others, considering well what they say, Pausing, searching, receiving, contemplating, Gently, but with undeniable will, divesting myself of the holds that would hold me."

Walt Whitman (1819-92)




"When I look back now over my life and call to mind what I might have had simply for taking and did not take, my heart is like to break."

Akhenaton (d. c.1354 BC)











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Friday, December 26, 2003
 

Mermaid

al-lure
Function: transitive verb
Etymology: Middle English aluren, from Middle French alurer, from Old French, from a- (from Latin ad-) + loire lure -- more at LURE
Date: 15th century
1 : to entice by charm or attraction
2 : a quality I have always admired

Today was Christmas.

Today the pile of presents under the tree was whittled down to almost nothing. I say almost because my daughter is out of town and hers remain unopened. But she'll be here Sunday and get her stuff too.

Anyways, this Christmas was a good one, all in all. No rollercoasters, no major problems, no unexplained depressions, no bursts of unreal activity. Just cool, calm, relaxing. And that was nice.

One of my presents was the latest album by Cory Sipper, Sincerely. You can get the album at CDBaby. I can't recommend this album highly enough.

Cory's writing seems to delve into the same dark rooms that I have visited at times, and her experience seems to mirror my own in many of the moments she records so openly. When her voice sings it just sends shivers up your spine.

Don't worry I won't ice myself
Don't worry I can fight myself
Don't worry I won't ice myself
My hands are steady to the wheel my love

- from "Ice", Cory Sipper, Sincerely



One of the songs on the album ends with a quote from Winston Churchill: "When you are going through hell, keep going." Good sentiments, good to remember.

Another song is called "Mermaid." She sings about once being a mermaid, at least in her mind. Of course, being a guy, my own experience with mermaids is quite different.

When I was very young, maybe 14 or so, we first began regularly going to Myrtle Beach. I would walk down to the seaside in the evening, just after dark, and sit and look at the waves.

The sea foam would sweep back and forth, effervescent and glimmering in the moonlight. Each wave would swoosh in gracefully and leave out with a gentle hiss to make room for the next. The sea breeze would gently caress my cheek and playfully toss my hair about.

It was easy to imagine magical things in such a place.

I would gaze intently on the waves, dreaming the impossibility of a real mermaid. I imagined that such a creature, as in the stories, would instantly fall in love with me as soon as she saw me. At that point on my life, I so desparately wanted love, and had no idea how nor hope of getting it.

Mythical creatures seemed about as likely to me as real flesh and blood ones to fill that need, and their failure to appear was a far easier blow to deal with than real life rejection. So I sat and dreamt of mermaids sweeping in on the waves.

Maybe I am not OK
Maybe I can feel a cold front moving in
Maybe you could be a saint
And lay down right now
Next to me right now....
Right now...

- from "Maybe", Cory Sipper, Sincerely


Now I'm many years down the road from gazing at mermaids. I'm a grown man who has raised children himself and watched them dream their own dreams and chase them. My workaday world holds little in the way of moments to sit and enjoy the waves rolling in after dark.

But, you know, every so often, I still find myself gazing into space and dreaming of mermaids. One day, I'll find one. And in many ways, I already have.

Merry Christmas, and may all your hopes and dreams come true.


Everything you can imagine is real.
Pablo Picasso (1881 - 1973)



Permalink: 12/26/2003 01:51:00 AM |
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