"From this hour I ordain myself loos'd of limits and imaginary lines, going where I list, my own master total and absolute, Listening to others, considering well what they say, Pausing, searching, receiving, contemplating, Gently, but with undeniable will, divesting myself of the holds that would hold me."
Walt Whitman (1819-92)
"When I look back now over my life and call to mind what I might have had simply for taking and did not take, my heart is like to break."
Akhenaton (d. c.1354 BC)
And now, the current weather, from some random person we pulled off the street:
Friday, April 30, 2004
Gold
de-light Function: noun
1 : a high degree of gratification : JOY; also : extreme satisfaction
2 : something that gives great pleasure
3 : what the most treasured moments of our lives bring us
I'm in an odd mood today.
But that's ok, I'm allowed a few of those, here and there. This mood is just kind of a introspective tint on normal, rather than the wild swings I have had at times due to my bipolar illness. I can handle tint.
I was idly flipping through my memories, and I realized that I had never really defined, to myself, which moments in my life were the most special, the most treasured. So, what the heck, I'll give it a shot.
I remember...
I remember looking up at a swan and having no concept of fear.
I remember my first treehouse. It was more like a perch and was only about ten feet high. From there, I felt like I could touch the sky and defend myself from the world. And I could feel the tree sway in the wind.
I remember playing in tidal pools and building sandcastles that would be washed away when the tide came in, but that would be alright because I would already have retreated to a new one further up towards the high tide mark.
I remember the pride I felt when my father and a man that was camped next to us rescued a drowning lady and pulled her and her child from a lake.
I remember getting my first car. It was an old yellow Volkswagen painted up like a frog and had a red bow on it.
I remember making my first $500 for cleaning a car someone gave my dad to pay for insurance.
I remember hours and hours of sitting, playing my guitar, and feeling that not only was all right with the world, but I had tapped into some new place both inside me and outside of everything.
I remember rainstorms, and how I loved being outside in them with an umbrella.
I remember my first kiss, and how it made me feel even better than I ever expected.
I remember swimming in a lake so clear you could see your toes when the water was up to your neck.
I remember swimming in the Gulf of Mexico, and the water was just as clear.
I remember seeing brightly colored tropical fish happily swimming in a storm drain in the Florida Keys.
I remember winning the Soap Box Derby, and being stunned that I had done it. I went to Akron as the city champ.
I remember catching fireflies in a glass jar on a hot summer night. I loved the way they looked, and I could tell you what the temperature was by how fast they blinked.
I remember fishing from a bridge over a creek on a sunny day, and my friend and I running in ecstatic terror from a snake that was in the water 40 feet below.
I remember sunsets.
I remember salt spray, and the sound of seagulls, and how their call can always transport me to a special place where the waves are always beautiful and the salt spray always blows through my hair.
I remember long silky brown hair cascading from a pillow, and knowing that I would always remember that moment.
I remember having turtle soup at the Grand Hotel in Alabama, and how funny the babysitter thought it was that a ten year old would order such a thing. I stirred it and asked where the turtle was.
I remember the first time I walked into Notre Dame cathedral, and how in awe I was.
I remember finding the Place de Vosges, and knowing that I may never find a place on Earth quite so charming.
I remember seeing icebergs from an airplane window.
I remember the first time my wife ever met me for a date, and what she was wearing, and how pretty she looked with her face framed by her coat's fur collar.
I remember getting balloons at work, and opening the card to see her phone number, which she had not given me until that moment.
I remember having a steamed seafood dinner beside the river near Savannah, and knowing it was the very best I had ever had.
I remember helping someone not kill themselves.
I remember standing in my yard and seeing a comet for the first time.
I remember seeing Saturn's rings, and how I knew I would somehow never bee the same after having seen them for real.
I remember the taste of the first vegetable I ever actually grew, a very hot radish at age six.
I remember lying on my back in the grass after climbing a mountain, and just watching the sky and the clouds, filled with the sense of accomplishment.
Gold, all of these moments, gold. In our lives, these moments are the treasures that mean the most to us.
I'll remember that.
[Memory is] a man's real possession...In nothing else is he rich, in nothing else is he poor.
Alexander Smith (1830 - 1867)
