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Click to go to the most current Cliff Between the Lines
Life, viewed sideways. Emotions, amplified. Answers, questioned. Me, between the lines.

- A Wounded Heart, Who Can Bear?
- Drowning Under a Tidal Wave
- Clawing My Way to the Sunlight
- Yes, Santa Claus, There Is a Virginia
- Fugu
- Touching the Spirit
- A Hole in the Universe
- Riding on the Dreams of Others
- Turning Into a Shark
 - A Heart, Ripped Asunder
- Surrendering to the Roller Coaster
- Hunting in the Jade Forest
- Dodging the Shark
- Dancing With Invisible Partners
- The Captain and the Harliquin
- Courting the Devils
- The Captain Makes His Mark
- Mad Dog to the Rescue
- Innocent in the Big City
- Dropping the Ball Briefcase
- Scrambling Brains
- Cheating the Reaper, Again
- What If the Man Behind the Curtain Is No Wizard After All?
- All of Us Have a Soundtrack
- Working With Broken Machines
- Happy Anniversary, Baby
- Standing on Stars
- Running the Film Backwards
- Identity Crisis ("Who am I?")
- Can We Ever Really Admit the Desires of Our Heart?
- Forgiveness is a Rare Thing
- Having Your Heart Caressed By the Creator
- Working With Broken Machines
- A New Leg to Stand On
- The Real Spirit of Christmas
- Chatting With Infinity
- Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder
- We All Have a Great Capacity for Loss
- Brushed Lightly By Might Have Beens
- We See the World Through Our Own Looking Glass
- Every Storm Passes Eventually
- Accidents Can Introduce Destiny Into Our Lives
- Freedom Depends on the Walls Around Us
- Pulling Aside the Velvet Curtain
- Riding the Razor's Edge
- Dying With Strangers
- In Your Face
- Between the Lines
- The Bobcat
- Angel With a Coffeecup
- Innocent in the Big City
- Chains of Gossamer
- Playing With Knives
- Stumbling Through Memories (Ooops)
- Picture This
- Running the Film Backwards
- Playing the Score, Tasting the Music
- Coins and Corals and Carved Coconuts
- My God, I Confess
- Exotic in Thin Air (Part 1, Speechless)
- Exotic in Thin Air (Part 2, Taxi)
- Exotic in Thin Air (Part 3, The Pan American)
- Exotic in Thin Air (Part 4, Guano)
- Exotic in Thin Air (Part 5, The Andes Express)

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More About Cliff Hursey

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"From this hour I ordain myself loos'd of limits and imaginary lines, going where I list, my own master total and absolute, Listening to others, considering well what they say, Pausing, searching, receiving, contemplating, Gently, but with undeniable will, divesting myself of the holds that would hold me."

Walt Whitman (1819-92)

"When I look back now over my life and call to mind what I might have had simply for taking and did not take, my heart is like to break."

Akhenaton (d. c.1354 BC)

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The WeatherPixie

Saturday, May 29, 2004

Free Fall

Function: noun
Etymology: French, from para- (as in parasol) + chute fall -- more at CHUTE
1 : a device for slowing the descent of a person or object through the air that consists of a usually hemispherical fabric canopy beneath which the person or object is suspended
2 : a device or structure suggestive of a parachute in form, use, or operation
3 : What I am really hoping I have firmly strapped to my back right now.

I have never jumped out of a plane in my entire life. At least not one that was actually flying at the time.

Vertigo, that feeling of falling, is something I really hate. I've hated it ever since I was a little boy and my father forced me to go on carnival rides at way too young an age.

So, to me, vertigo = bad, and out of control.

Free falling creates vertigo, of course, because you are in fact falling as fast as you can. That's what that instinct is in there for, to let you know that you are heading down far too fast, and nothing good could come of it.

The difference between just free falling and sky diving is that in a sky dive, you meant to do it and you expect to survive it.

Right now, I'm not sure if I am free falling or sky diving. it feels like free falling, since that whole out of control thing is here, but I am hoping so deeply that when the moment comes, I'll have a working parachute.

Everything in me feels like I am standing poised at the apex of a rollercoaster, about to take the plunge.

And you know, I really hate plunges.

I'm not a risk taker unless it is necessary. I would gladly parachute from a crashing plane, but would never do it from a perfectly good one.

I'm brave, but not reckless.

So, my life is in free fall. I've left the clouds far behind me and the ground is rushing up faster and faster. My stomach churns with fear as I deliberately take the rip cord and....

...well, we haven't gotten to that part of the story yet. And that's what makes this so darned uncomfortable. When the time comes, am I wearing a parachute or just a backpack?

Only one way to find out, and that's pulling the cord when the time is right.

Tick tock.

Life changed after that jump...I'd suddenly stepped to the highest level of daring, a level above even that which airplane pilots could attain.
Charles Lindbergh (1902 - 1974), describing his first skydive

Permalink: 5/29/2004 05:45:00 PM |
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