"From this hour I ordain myself loos'd of limits and imaginary lines, going where I list, my own master total and absolute, Listening to others, considering well what they say, Pausing, searching, receiving, contemplating, Gently, but with undeniable will, divesting myself of the holds that would hold me."
Walt Whitman (1819-92)
"When I look back now over my life and call to mind what I might have had simply for taking and did not take, my heart is like to break."
Akhenaton (d. c.1354 BC)
And now, the current weather, from some random person we pulled off the street:
Thursday, January 29, 2004
Targeting Desire
di-rec-tion Function: noun
1 : guidance or supervision of action or conduct : MANAGEMENT
2 : the line or course on which something is moving or is aimed to move or along which something is pointing or facing
3 : Something I don't seem to have right now
"Why are you here?!?" she shrieked in a piercing tone that made all the fat ladies flinch.
I was sitting in my usual seat in the back row of my weekly Weight Watchers meeting, except that due to the snow earlier this week this was a different crowd, a different night, and a different group leader. This group leader had a habit/trait/style that involved some sort of shreiked statement every minute or so.
Yeah, so I'm overweight. Actually, according to my palmtop body mass index, I'm very obese. Could be worse, at least it is not morbidly obese. I showed that to a coworker a couple of months ago and she said that no I wasn't, and I thanked her for her graciousness.
Hey, I know how to read a mirror.
So, over the years I tried all kinds of things. Low fat, Adkins, South Beach, you name it. Sure I could lose weight. Problem was keeping it off. the only time I was successful at that was during an extended manic in 2002 when my body was running at warp speed for months. That is not a recommended diet plan!
"Why are you here?!?" she shrieked again. Pain shot up from my ears.
One brave lady near the front ventures an answer, hesitantly, "Um...to...lose weight?"
When they put me on meds for bipolar last year, the first thing that happened was that my body tucked on about 40 lbs, maybe more. I tried everything I could think of to get rid of the weight, and nothing worked.
One day I realized that I had lost the impetus to lose weight at all. So I joined Weight Watchers for the accountability.
"Well, of course you're here to lose weight," the group leader shrilled, "but why do you want to lose weight?"
Nobody had ever asked me that question before.
I mean, of course there are the standard answers. I will be more healthy. I will feel better. I will look better.
But none of these ring true in my head for a reason why, a goal to be pursued. Frankly, when it boils down to it, I could care less about being healthy, feeling better, or looking better. It's just not on my radar.
So what the heck am I doing at Weight Watchers then?
Logically, I know those reasons for losing weight are good ones. So I will show up at Weight Watchers each and every week for my weigh in, and that small bit of accountability will run this whole train.
Amazing.
It matters not what goal you seek
Its secret here reposes:
You've got to dig from week to week
To get Results or Roses.
Edgar Guest
