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Entering the Frost cold Function: adjective ...
Mermaid
A Nervous Boil dis-qui-et Function: transitiv...
The Real Spirit of Christmas
A Heart Ripped Asunder
The Captain Makes His Mark
Courting the Devils
The Captain and the Harliquin
Dancing with Invisible Partners
Hunting in the Jade Forest

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Life, viewed sideways. Emotions, amplified. Answers, questioned. Me, between the lines.




- A Wounded Heart, Who Can Bear?
- Drowning Under a Tidal Wave
- Clawing My Way to the Sunlight
- Yes, Santa Claus, There Is a Virginia
- Fugu
- Touching the Spirit
- A Hole in the Universe
- Riding on the Dreams of Others
- Turning Into a Shark
 - A Heart, Ripped Asunder
- Surrendering to the Roller Coaster
- Hunting in the Jade Forest
- Dodging the Shark
- Dancing With Invisible Partners
- The Captain and the Harliquin
- Courting the Devils
- The Captain Makes His Mark
- Mad Dog to the Rescue
- Innocent in the Big City
- Dropping the Ball Briefcase
- Scrambling Brains
- Cheating the Reaper, Again
- What If the Man Behind the Curtain Is No Wizard After All?
- All of Us Have a Soundtrack
- Working With Broken Machines
- Happy Anniversary, Baby
- Standing on Stars
- Running the Film Backwards
- Identity Crisis ("Who am I?")
- Can We Ever Really Admit the Desires of Our Heart?
- Forgiveness is a Rare Thing
- Having Your Heart Caressed By the Creator
- Working With Broken Machines
- A New Leg to Stand On
- The Real Spirit of Christmas
- Chatting With Infinity
- Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder
- We All Have a Great Capacity for Loss
- Brushed Lightly By Might Have Beens
- We See the World Through Our Own Looking Glass
- Every Storm Passes Eventually
- Accidents Can Introduce Destiny Into Our Lives
- Freedom Depends on the Walls Around Us
- Pulling Aside the Velvet Curtain
- Riding the Razor's Edge
- Dying With Strangers
- In Your Face
- Between the Lines
- The Bobcat
- Angel With a Coffeecup
- Innocent in the Big City
- Chains of Gossamer
- Playing With Knives
- Stumbling Through Memories (Ooops)
- Picture This
- Running the Film Backwards
- Playing the Score, Tasting the Music
- Coins and Corals and Carved Coconuts
- My God, I Confess
- Exotic in Thin Air (Part 1, Speechless)
- Exotic in Thin Air (Part 2, Taxi)
- Exotic in Thin Air (Part 3, The Pan American)
- Exotic in Thin Air (Part 4, Guano)
- Exotic in Thin Air (Part 5, The Andes Express)



 
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"From this hour I ordain myself loos'd of limits and imaginary lines, going where I list, my own master total and absolute, Listening to others, considering well what they say, Pausing, searching, receiving, contemplating, Gently, but with undeniable will, divesting myself of the holds that would hold me."

Walt Whitman (1819-92)




"When I look back now over my life and call to mind what I might have had simply for taking and did not take, my heart is like to break."

Akhenaton (d. c.1354 BC)











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Wednesday, January 07, 2004
 

Holding the Rose, Carefully

im-i-tate
Function: transitive verb
Etymology: Latin imitatus, past participle of imitari -- more at IMAGE
Date: 1534
1 : to follow as a pattern, model, or example
2 : to be or appear like :
3 : The greatest complement one can give


I had a very unexpected and deep blessing yesterday.

First, I am going to have to back up a bit and fill in the story. I'll do it quick, bear with me. I'll have to be a bit vague as well, you'll understand in a moment.

A friend of mine was having some difficult marital problems last year. She found that her husband was frequently lying and might even be cheating on her. She was speaking candidly about it to me and told me that she wanted to divorce him, and looked at me and said "Why can't I just be happy?" She had tears in her eyes, she was hurting so badly inside.

Some moments just burn themselves into your memory. That was one of them. Her heart was breaking just as her voice was when she said it.

I told her that I would pray for her, and specifically I would pray for her husband to become the man she wanted him to be. And that's what I did, pray for that to happen in her life and her husband's life.

Never take prayer lightly. The stuff works.

Fast forward six months to just before Christmas when I saw her again. We were chatting and I picked up something between the lines from a few things that were said. The first thing I picked up was that her husband had drastically changed his behavior, and was falling into line with what she had wanted.

The second thing was not as encouraging. And I only suspected it, but felt that, as a friend, I could ask.

"You are running around on your husband aren't you?"

Her eyes got big. I was right. She embarrassingly admitted it. Yes, she was.

We talked for a good long time. I pointed out to her that now, with the situation the way it was, she was being the roadblock to her marriage, and perhaps even a worse one than her husband had been. It is surprising to me how easily we become the thing we hate. I've done it in the past and now she had done it too. Perhaps in some warped way, its our way of taking revenge, of showing that we can scrap just as well as those we feel have hurt us.

Well, I saw her again this week.

I was not about to bring up the topic of her marriage again. I had said what I felt and what I thought was right about what she was doing, and I never mix my approval of a person's actions with my friendships. I can hate the act and love the actor, if you will. But she raised the topic almost immediately.

"I did a lot of thinking about what you said a few weeks ago," she said. "I think you were right. I've stopped what I was doing and I've broken off that relationship. My marriage will either stand or fall on its own legs."

The short time we had talked about it, a month ago, had made such an impression on her that she had made a major life change. I can't express how deeply I was honored.

That, to me, is one of the greatest complements a person can receive, to know that you might have made a difference, that things are somehow better in another person's life because you were there.

If I could choose for myself one destiny, one legacy to leave behind, it would be that. To have made a difference, to have touched the lives of others, to have been given the privilege of being the person that God chooses to be there when He needs one of His roses carefully and delicately tended. And the rose must be held ever so gently, because God loves it so much.

People act badly so many times, I think, because they simply can't see any other alternative. They don't think that home can ever be fixed, so they venture outside of it for what they feel they need. Then a spouse does the same thing in payment for being hurt. Neither one thinks of the fact that, together, they could fix it, make home what they wanted it to be all along. Instead, they will take actions that crumble families and lives.

I've seen it just too many times.

But what an honor I was given, to have my advice taken seriously and even acted upon. That is the best of complements, the truest mark of a friend.

Nothing in life is as good as the marriage of true minds between man and woman. As good? It is life itself.
Pearl S. Buck


Permalink: 1/07/2004 03:22:00 PM |
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