"From this hour I ordain myself loos'd of limits and imaginary lines, going where I list, my own master total and absolute, Listening to others, considering well what they say, Pausing, searching, receiving, contemplating, Gently, but with undeniable will, divesting myself of the holds that would hold me."
Walt Whitman (1819-92)
"When I look back now over my life and call to mind what I might have had simply for taking and did not take, my heart is like to break."
Akhenaton (d. c.1354 BC)
And now, the current weather, from some random person we pulled off the street:
Sunday, June 19, 2005
Breath of Fresh Air
Just a quick update and a few thoughts.
First, it appears that I've been in a month and a half long bipolar depressive cycle. It was due to a med change. I never spotted it until it was over, since I usually do that kind of cycle in a few hours.
Therefore, take some of what I've said the last few weeks with that in mind.
Things are more settled here, for the moment. Well, aside from the normal daily emergencies. We have those in spades.
Oh, and we have a new member of our household. He's a gray tabby named Max. Right now he's been here a grand total of three hours and he's hiding behind some clothes in our bedroom. In a couple of days we'll introduce him slowly to the resident king cat, Pookie, who sadly is dying of renal failure but is fighting it heroically.
I expect it will take them about a week to make friends.
Yesterday I passed a car full of kids on their way to a high school graduation. They had painted up the car. On the back window it read "Henrico High School Class of 2005, Seniors Rule!"
On the side it read, and I quote this verbatum, "Honk if your a senior!"
(Insert deep sigh here)
Had a friend call me today and tell me she had tried to commit suicide last week. Thankfully she told someone before it was too late and they were able to rescue her. You would never know it looking at her. She is smart, witty, and pretty near fashion model material. You never know what's under the hood.
That's two friends of mine that tried to commit suicide this month. Sobering.
My friend said that she felt like the people around her could not put up with her. I told her that wasn't the problem. The problem was that she had the wrong people around her. After all, the problem isn't ALWAYS us, is it?
Like so many others, the people around her don't understand what mental illness is. The disease that the two of us share is a chemical imbalance, not a bad train of thought. Normal people play in the mood little leagues. We're in the majors. Telling one of us to "snap out of it" or to "cheer up" is about as helpful as telling somebody with skin cancer to wash their face.
Last, I'll leave with this note. My wife is onestrogen therapy, and she uses the Vivelle patch. The pharmacists directions read "Place on rotating part every three days."
So far, we've stuck one on a tire, a merry go round, a CD and a fan, and her hot flashes aren't any better...